the long lives and quick deaths of trees, and the creatures that live beneath them

A Picture Story (Story Arrangement Post Pic Taking)

"Gaaaawl bladder splattin' shiezuh monkeys, looky thar!" "Daaaaaaang!"

" omen? " A moment of silence from Bobtar ....Oregon coast sand dunes.. ...

..oooo flowers, Blaffa Bob likes flowers ...."I think I see something"...>>> ..Bridge of Doo Hickeydom!!

..."we're gonna have to run the gauntlet"......guuuuuh...^~^~^^~^~^"Are they gonna arrest us for taking

pictures of a bridge?" .."get a grip man, I think I see the Moogi Wyeoogi over there----> ..."wait a

okra-sniffin cheese-eatin second, that ain't right.. ......... They leave in silence (for once), muttering

incomprehensible incantations in an attempt to ward off the heavy mojo imbedded in the fog....and breaking through it, find themselves at The

OCEAN of The Singular Infinite Point... oooo ahhh wooaah ...time to move on.....into the

forest of... Extreme Monster Trees!! Raaaarrrr..gaaaarraAARR! What parts of Amuriga used to look like, and could

look like, and DO look like, but not in too many places anymore... And how big is our dummy used for scale going to be? Who cares! shut up and meditate

on the tree, Grasshuffer, and realize how puny you are in comparison

Is the marginalization of this awe inspiring beauty a conspiracy designed to keep us feeling dominant over nature, or do we just like to build shit, alot of shit? With saws they cut down the trees, with lights they block out the stars; both of which are part of a natural conspiracy designed to keep our hubris as humans in check. Is there a battle going on around the world? The Wild versus anything we can come up with to tame it? An ecological system with limits versus a global corporate system that seems to know no limits to its willingness to draw free resources from Pacha Mama without giving anything back in return? Will the Ents one day rise up and cast down the Lorax from its gurgling tower of consumption and expansion? Maybe not, but when the system self-destructs due to improper maintenance, I know who will be there to reclaim their proper dominion................
....ahem, ok, where was I?... oh yeah, these two nerdlingers... ....sally forth they do, into the green, and stuff that's real neato

...back on the Bridge, our ultra galactic battle banditos sought refuge in their favorite Willie Nelson sing-a-long

but suddenly, Jaktar thinks he sees a Class Four Arbor Abolisher swiftly advancing on their tail.. He queries the Captain... "You think it's them?"

"It shore as fizzuck IS them!" "Nefarians!! Angle the deflector shields while I charge up the main guns!!" "Are we under attack?! Should

we attack? Let's get those chitlin bangin' tree wackin' outer space fecal freakin' Pacha Mama jackin' lumber lickers!!^%!$!^&%$" "Them bunk wack cock jaws is getting

away!" "That lady in the Forest Hut thing said THIS WAS OUR FOREST you interlopin' ball sniffin' forest groper!" "After those gimcracker turd

hammers!" And they started to pursue their wretched and soon-to-be boarded target....hopes were high as they prepared for hyperspace infiltration, when out of the blue, Babe Ox

and his side kick Honkey Kong materialized in the middle of the road! "Halt you dirty hippies! You must let this one pass." "Did that biz wacker just

call us hippies? Listen you oversized roadside tourist plunger, we ain't hippies. And you're blocking our way, so why don't you make like cupcakes and eat shit." "I

know you think I'm a tree killer, but what about this: "Well, that's kinda cool, but you gotta do better than that." "Even with the cool trim?"

"Thththbhbhbbthb! Pretty, but big whoop." "OK you nincompoopin' shit shufflers, wouldn't you want to live in this one?" "Yeah right,

more like they would try to get us to paint it, not live in it." "This one?" "Eh, maybe." "We get the point, Honkey Kong, but we'll have to

ponder the dilemma some more. Maybe things will be clearer after a good night's sleep." The boys fled the gingerbread town, and having lost their pursuit of the lumber licker, they found shelter for the night. That evening, Mortwat fell into a deep sleep and dreamt that the King of the Vagabong Monkeys came to him and requested, er rather shouted, "You gotta get them tree cuttin' rump sniffers! Don't let that axe-wieldin' red shirted fruit wad tell you otherwise, even if you are a bunch of lumber rustlers yourselves. Fight for the monkeys!" This didn't really make alot of sense, but regardless, when Mortwat woke up... ..well, you see what this means... TO WAR!! FOR THE MONKEYS!!!

So they started to train, and to make preparations. and before they went off to battle, they sat in their secret tree womb and gathered into themselves their special mojo powers...

tune in next time to find out what became of our nerdlinger zeroes and their ubiquitous foe